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When and how did you both meet?
Alex and I met in 2015 at Cornell Law School, right at the start of our first year. Alex says he first noticed me during orientation on the tour of the library, but we truly hit it off at his birthday party, where he invited the entire law school and his DJ alter ego made an appearance. From that moment on, we became inseparable, sharing classes and countless memories throughout our time in law school.
We survived Ithaca’s freezing winters, and our classmates often saw us as yin and yang—two contrasting personalities that perfectly balanced each other. With an active duty US Army background, a passion for golf, and a talent for DJing, Alex approached life with patience, diligence, and a calculated calmness that grounded those around him. I, on the other hand, was a whirlwind of energy—an anxious perfectionist and go-getter who thrived in the classroom, pursued human rights advocacy, dabbled in modeling, and embraced whatever exciting endeavor caught my attention that month. My approach to life wasn’t always calculated, but it was consistently successful.
In law school, I was drawn to public policy and international law, while Alex had a clear passion for transactional law. Despite his commitment to working in private equity, by our final year, I convinced him to sit with me in the front row of an international law class, a compromise he begrudgingly but good-naturedly made.
This year marks our 10-year anniversary—a reminder of how far we’ve come since those early days. From late-night study sessions to moments of celebration, our friendship has been a constant source of support, humor, and connection, and it remains one of the most meaningful parts of my life.
When and how did you get engaged?
I surprised Dara with a wedding proposal in Malibu, California, which, as she would likely point out, was a huge undertaking for me since I am not much of a planner. Dara and I had talked about traveling to LA for some time, but taking time off was challenging due to our demanding work schedules. I wanted to ensure that we could both fully enjoy the trip, so we planned it around a brief deadline that she had.
To pull off the surprise, I told Dara that we had a 4 pm reservation at Nobu Malibu, which, as many know, is notoriously difficult to get into. She was excited about the dinner, completely unaware that the real surprise was waiting for her on the beach. I organized a group of her closest friends to fly in that day, keeping the whole thing a secret. To make sure she didn’t catch on, I even took her ring shopping on Rodeo Drive, and she had no idea what was coming. I rented a house on the beach and proposed to her in the sand. When she looked up, her closest friends were waiting on the balcony to celebrate with us. This was incredibly meaningful because they had been such an important support system for Dara throughout our relationship.
We’re deeply grateful for that memory, especially in light of the recent tragedy in the area that destroyed the home where we got engaged. It is a moment that will forever remain one of the most cherished and meaningful highlights of our lives.
When and where was your wedding?
Château de Villette, Condécourt, France; September 14, 2024
What was the planning process like?
Planning our wedding was equal parts exciting and challenging, but it was made manageable by our planner, who expertly guided us through the process despite our hectic schedules and the added complexity of marrying abroad. The first big decision was choosing a venue, and for us, France was the clear choice. After law school, I received a fellowship to research and develop human trafficking laws and policies in Paris, France, and Alex lived with me during that time. With limited funds, we spent weekends exploring French museums and châteaus, buying tickets to tour the interiors and enjoy their architecture and history. On one such visit, we stumbled across preparations for a grand event and imagined what it might be like to attend something so magnificent. Seven years later, when we started planning our wedding, that memory came rushing back. Choosing France felt symbolic, bringing our journey full circle. It also made sense practically, offering a destination that aligned with our vision and addressed some concerns about attendance and intimacy.
For me, the biggest concern wasn’t flowers or table settings—it was making sure key family members could be there. Having our wedding abroad eased that worry, providing a more focused and meaningful experience for the people who were truly committed to celebrating with us.
Our relationship also added a unique layer of complexity. Alex was the first trans man I ever dated, and his unapologetic approach to life was the complete opposite of the more reserved, image-conscious environment I grew up in. At the time, laws like HB2 were still in effect in some southern states, and our relationship strained dynamics with family members who had always been central to my life. While our planner handled the logistical aspects, navigating these emotional and cultural challenges was just as important as the wedding planning itself.
Ultimately, the process wasn’t just about organizing an event—it was about celebrating our relationship in a way that felt true to us. Marrying in France not only honored an important chapter of our story, but it also allowed us to focus on what truly mattered: the people who supported us and the shared journey we had built together.
Who was your wedding planner?
Amanda Virga, AMV Weddings.
Amanda was incredible to work with. We were looking for someone who not only understood wedding planning but was also familiar with France and the venues on our list. Her knowledge and expertise were crucial in ensuring that our day was perfect. Amanda was also instrumental in helping Alex pull off a surprise firework display at our wedding, which was absolutely spectacular. It was such a magical moment that made our celebration even more memorable.
How did you choose what you wore? Can you walk us through your thought process for clothing, jewelry, and beauty. What did your spouse wear?
The gown! It truly had a life—and a passport—of its own. I could not have dreamt of a more meaningful wedding gown, and securing it was a journey that held deep significance for me.
I first tried on the gown during New York Bridal Fashion Week. Modeling has been a fulfilling part of my life since I was a teenager, starting around the same time I joined my high school debate team. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to work with some incredible designers, one of whom is Jimmy Choo. My agency, in collaboration with Courtyard Consulting, invited me to model for The Atelier by Jimmy Choo during New York Bridal Fashion Week, and I had no idea the man himself would be there. Interacting with him during this event was surreal and inspiring.
The gown was not even on my radar until I saw it in the showroom. The moment it touched my skin, I knew it was the one. I immediately texted my closest friends, and we all agreed—this gown was unmatched. Everyone in the room seemed to feel the same way.
Over the next few months, I gave it some thought and visited a few local bridal shops, trying on other options. Yet, whenever I showed them a photo of the gown, even the consultants admitted it could not be topped. That sealed the deal. I worked with Courtyard Consulting and the designer to secure my dream gown, a process that felt like a dream itself. It was everything I could have wanted—perfect for me, the venue, and the day.
The incredible team at Bridal Reflections made sure it fit me like a glove. They worked wonders, avoiding a potentially cumbersome bustle by creating hand loops instead, which made the day so much smoother—especially during our first dance. My bridal dressing assistant from Gold Leaf Brides was equally amazing. She was with me the entire day, ensuring every detail of my look was flawless, my bridal party was all set, and every photo captured the gown in its full glory. She was indispensable.
My second look was a lace masterpiece by Pnina Tornai. It had long detachable sleeves, which were perfect for hitting the dance floor. I found it while shopping with my closest friends, and it was exactly what I had envisioned for my wedding reception. Also, this dress had its own moment when Alex (with the help of our planner) surprised me with fireworks just moments before we transitioned inside for our DJ set.
My final look by Oscar de la Renta was a masterpiece. I had always dreamed of wearing a metallic dress for my reception, and this one surpassed all my expectations. It was timeless, epic, and something I hope to pass down one day.
Every dress I wore that day told a story. Each one was a reflection of me, my journey, and the love and care that went into making the day extraordinary.
Jewelry: I also collaborated with Material Good for my wedding earrings, and they were simply perfect. My earrings added a delicate touch of blue, a meaningful and stylish nod to tradition, which tied beautifully into the details of my wedding look. It was even more special that I incorporated this “something blue” into both my earrings and my wedding shoes, bringing a cohesive and sentimental element to the day.
Makeup: Another key aspect of wedding planning that was especially important to me was makeup! I have been modeling since I was a teenager, and over the years, it has been striking to see how the makeup industry still struggles with understanding brown and black skin, particularly our undertones. I often find myself worrying about looking too washed out/pale, or whether hair artists might use the wrong products for my hair. The industry still has a long way to go in terms of inclusivity and expertise.
For modeling, I learned to do my own makeup and to prepare for the worst. For my wedding, I did not want to add the stress of worrying about my makeup. It was crucial for me to work with someone who truly understood my needs and could make me feel both comfortable and confident. That is why having Ngozi Edeme (Painted by Esther) as my makeup artist was so important. Ngozi is a true expert, and her ability to make people of all shades feel like royalty is unparalleled. I was absolutely thrilled when she agreed to work with me for my wedding—her skill and understanding made all the difference, and it was a huge part of what made the day so memorable. I felt the same way about my DC-based hair stylist, D’Artangnan Adams.
What did your wedding party wear (if applicable)?
For my wedding, I provided my bridesmaids with a color palette of peach, sage, toffee and related colors and gave them the freedom to choose dresses that reflected their unique styles. They coordinated beautifully, and the result was amazing. I could see they all felt confident in their dresses and with their hair and makeup. I wanted to make sure they had the best possible experience, especially given the effort it took to travel to Paris for my wedding (and St Tropez for my bachelorette beforehand), and because I know how stressful being in a bridal party can be.
I also gave them the freedom to choose their hairstyles and was pretty relaxed about the makeup palette. Many of the girls had saved looks, and I was totally happy with them using those for the day. My bridesmaids are truly like family to me, and I love them so much. On the day of, I surprised each of them with a thank-you care package, including toile patterned silk pajamas (from Lilysilk) and pearl earrings (tribal style to add a little flair).
Please describe the ceremony.
The ceremony was the epitome of perfection, even though it was one aspect of the wedding that was completely out of my control—a challenge for a self-proclaimed control freak like me. My officiant, who is also my work mentor of the past seven years, led the ceremony. We first connected while working on a pro bono project during my early years as a lawyer, and over time, we grew close, especially after bonding over shared experiences and reactions from loved ones after my engagement.
True to form, my officiant didn’t play around—he practically deposed us (and our parents) before the wedding, gathering every personal detail and backstory to craft a ceremony that was both heartfelt and deeply personal. Alex and I also wrote our own vows, which added another layer of emotion to the day. Even though Alex swore he wouldn’t cry, he did—and so did I, along with many of our friends and family members.
The ceremony featured a reading of a poem by Maya Angelou and began with us entering to Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect,” followed by Pachelbel’s “Canon in D.” It ended with a meaningful gesture: jumping the broom, an African American tradition that symbolized our new beginning. Many of our guests shared that the ceremony was one of the most memorable and touching parts of the wedding, and I couldn’t agree more—it was everything we hoped for and more.
How did you feel during the ceremony?
During the ceremony, we were utterly in awe—of the moment, of each other, and of the love surrounding us. It felt surreal, like time had paused just for us. Standing there together, we couldn’t help but feel incredibly lucky—lucky to have found each other, to be surrounded by our loved ones, and to be experiencing something so profoundly beautiful. It was a moment filled with gratitude, joy, and an overwhelming sense of connection.
What happened after the ceremony?
After the ceremony, Alex and I took a private moment to reflect and soak in the joy and perfection of the day—it was truly magical. For any brides-to-be, I can’t recommend enough taking as many photos as possible before the ceremony. It frees up so much time afterward to spend with your partner and loved ones, allowing you to fully enjoy those moments without feeling rushed. After our quiet moment together, we joined everyone at the cocktail hour by the pool. One highlight of the cocktail hour was undoubtedly the truffle risotto, which was absolutely out of this world. It was a truly joyous and unforgettable celebration.
How do you feel about everything now?
After nearly a decade together, sharing a home and building a family—including our Dalmatian, Baldwin, and Papillon, Romulus—our wedding has deepened our sense of unity and excitement for the future. We continue to invest in each other daily, striving to be kind and appreciative, nurturing the love that has grown over the years.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
(Alex) Early on the wedding planning process, Dara broached the idea of fireworks. As the overly pragmatic one in the relationship, I noted that we should wait to see what our budget would allow before committing to literally set money on fire. Little did Dara know, I had been working with a French pyrotechnical company to arrange for a massive firework show. The company specializes in synchronizing their firework displays to music, and given that I was a DJ in a past life, I used the show as an opportunity to remix a song for the show. In consultation with all the bridesmaids, I finished a remix of “Still into you” by Paramore in less than 48 hours.
Planner: Amanda Virga, @amv_weddings
Venue: Château de Villette, @chateau_de_villette @theheritagecollection
Photographer: Lucy Munoz, @lucymunozphotography
Videographer: The Wedding Valley, @the_wedding_valley
Wedding Hair and Makeup:
Hair: D’Artangnan Adams, @d_adams_touch
Makeup: Ngozi Edeme, @paintedbyesther
Bridesmaids Makeup: Lindzy, @lindzyparis
Wedding Music:
Band and DJ: The Upshots/Fortune Band Live, @upshotsbandlondon; fortunebandlive
String Trio & Welcome Event Pianist: Wedding Music in France,
@weddingmusicinfrance
Other Wedding Vendors:
Flowers: Capucine Atelier Floral, @capucineatelierfloral
Catering: Grand Chemin Traiteu, @grandchemintraiteur
Cake: Synie’s Paris, @syniesparis
AV Equipment for Band: GE Production, @geproductionuk
Stationary: Laura Elizabeth Patrick, @lauraelizabethpatrick
Seating Board: @livlaermann + @lauraelizabethpatrick
Rentals: Options, @maison_options
Specialty Linens: Appolonia Linen, @appolonialinen
Bridal Dressing: Gold Leaf Brides, @goldleafbrides
Fireworks: Joker Artifices, @jokerartifices
Bride Wedding Apparel and Accessories:
Getting Ready Dress: Victoria Beckham, @victoriabeckham
Getting Ready Robe: Lé Lauriér, @lelaurier
Wedding Dress: The Atelier by Jimmy Choo, @theatelierstudioofficial
Wedding and Reception Shoes: Manolo Blahnik
Reception Dress: Pnina Tornai, @pninatornai
After Party Dress: Oscar de la Renta, @oscardelarenta
After Party Shoes: Aquazzura, @aquazzura
Wedding Band: Material Good, @materialgood
Groom Wedding Apparel and Accessories:
Tux/Shirt: Ralph Lauren
Tie: Dior
Shoes: Christian Louboutin
Welcome Event Venue: The RItz Paris, @ritzparis
Bride Welcome Event Apparel and Accessories:
Dress: New Arrivals
Shoes: Amina Muaddi
Jewelry: Vrai
Groom Welcome Event Apparel and Accessories:
Suit: Hugo Boss
Shirt: BalmainShoes: Alexander McQueen
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